Spoken by Irene:

Oh yes, Miss Riley, now lad she was a one in her day
Well dad, she's all fat and mouthy and her hair is grey
Shut your trap boy, we'll have none of that talk here
Well, mumbles the lad, I've heard she can guzzle some beer

No lad, not Lil, it's been a long time since we met, he sighs
Well this Miss Riley says she knows you, she lives close by
They say she's all mouth and trousers and I know it's true
Like a bladder of lard if you pass her and smelly too!

The father's face turned purple, as he dealt a hefty clout
Who do you think you're talking to, you ignorant young lout?
I'll have you know Miss Riley was called Lily when young
I bet she didn't smell like a lily, said the lad, starting to run

There was no holding father as he chased him out the door
Why you mealy mouthed little wretch, I'll give you what for
The lad, like a streak of lightening, was soon up the road
Like a mad bull was father, he looked fit to explode

A huge woman stopped in front of him and called him Bill
By gum, thought father, it can't be, could she be Lil?
I'd know you anywhere, she yelled, right in his ear
Not like the old days, l've put on weight over the years

This huge mound of flesh, that belched and wheezed
Breathed disgusting aromas that made poor father sneeze
He couldn't believe, that this mound of jelly was Lil
Turning, he walked away, for she made him feel quite ill

I'll never speak to you again, she screamed, no never
But father didn't care, for his Lil was gone forever